Me? An Inspiration?

When I took up my position at the company I currently work for, I gave plenty of warning of my hectic upcoming Fall Semester schedule and my strict "not quitting" policy on my college degree. My boss was fine with it.

When it came time to discuss my transition from a standard 40-hour work week at a company-wide standardized drafting office schedule to a potentially part-time (less than 30 hours) schedule to accommodate my in-and-out-of-office routine, I had a random sit-down with a coworker who told me that he wishes he could go back to college. That led to his saying "Be my inspiration!" I laughed and said I would try.

"Be my inspiration!" - a coworker in regards to my determination to get my degree at @utarlington while still working full time. :)
— @lynminx July 30, 2014

Now that I am a few weeks into the Fall Semester, I am finding it increasingly more difficult to get out of bed for a 6:30am clock-in at work. Not because that's too early for work (it's not, not really), but because I am starting to feel the effects of the back-and-forth work-school-work-school-work-home-wash-rinse-repeat. I'm not saying that I have too much going on outside of work and school, but it is rather difficult to make that staunch 8:00pm/9:00pm-ish bed time to get enough sleep to carry me over through the week. There is just so much to do.

But on days that I drag my ass out of bed, suffer through the insane 6:00am traffic jams, hit every red light, and patiently (ha!) wait my turn in the Starbucks drive-thru, even when I feel like utter crap and just want to roll over and sleep in, show up to work after my first class (which would mean missing only 1.5 hours of work), a small reward is nice. Today's reward was nothing major -- at least at the surface. A different coworker came up to me and was so excited, and just had to share with me what she did this week.

She started the process to attend college.

She hasn't been in a classroom since she was 18 years old, when she graduated high school. Her children are currently in college. She works multiple jobs to pay their tuition and to offset the amount of student loans they receive. She said she has always wanted to try to go to college, but never got around to it. Seeing me trudge along day in, day out? I was her inspiration. I was the nudge she needed to try to get a degree. It won't be a degree out of necessity, but a degree that she wants for herself.

Was just told by a coworker that she started her journey to a college degree this week because of me. #Inspiring #FeelsWeird #FeelsGood
— @lynminx September 4, 2014

I never thought I would be in this position. I mean, yea, I want to change the world; I have ideas aplenty on how I want to shape the future. Never did I imagine it would be like this. I don't feel like I've reached the point where I'm qualified to enact change. I mean, I'm still working toward my degree! It has been years upon years longer than it would have taken had I joined my friends and started right out of the gate attending school full time. Yet, here I am. It feels weird. It feels awesome. It feels terrifying.

I have given presentations to high school students about college and life after high school. As freaked out as it makes me to speak publicly, I enjoy it. I want to be a good role model for the youth of today. I am working with a great group of people to try to create a summer camp at the university for underprivileged students from Native American communities. To suddenly find myself as the spark of inspiration for two adults older than I am? I can't describe the absolute fear with which this fills me.

But, I have to admit, I like it. Now, as long as I don't mess up this whole degree thing... :)

Paranoia In The Classroom

For those that don't know, I'm a student at the University of Texas at Arlington. My employer gives me a little wiggle room in my daily schedule so that I may attend classes. Today, my schedule, as well as I, was shaken.

When I woke up, campus was closed and the hunt was on for a suspected gunman. I applauded the Dallas and Arlington and campus police departments for working together to proactively keep students safe. I commented on Google+: "If this is a hoax or bad information, it is good practice. If it is true, lives are being saved."

Not too long after, I received an all-clear from the school's alert system; classes would resume at noon. My class this summer starts at 12:30pm. I had not heard anything as to why - was the suspect in custody? Was it found to be a hoax? Was there no evidence to support the tip?

I arrived on campus and got a coveted front parking space. The lot was pretty empty. As I sat in my car and ate a drive-thru lunch, I watched a few more cars trickle in. Some students looked nervous, some looked exhausted, and some looked like they had no cares in the world. I watched each and every one of them with suspicious eyes. You see a lot of 'in plain sight' killers in the movies; it was scarily easy to picture more than a few of them with some form of weapon hidden on their body, in their clothes, and within easy reach inside bags.

I mentally slapped myself and gathered my things for the walk to class. For once, I was happy with my over large sunglasses (bought for function, not form [ie fashion]) and the fact that I could hide and be paranoid suspicious of everyone as I walked in the wide open quadrangle and between buildings. I felt like a bunny watching for the hawk. I made notes of what type of bullet proof cover was available, what doors were within sprinting distance, what shields existed along my route, and calculated my survival chances with each. I noticed that inside the building, on this empty day, my chances of survival were far slimmer than being outside - all of the doors were shut and locked, all lights were out, and I would be a sitting duck in a long hallway. It was not a comforting thought. Even the elevator gave me no hope; while there was a 'close door' button, there was no 'emergency stop' pull, so I wouldn't be able to stop the elevator between floors, away from any intruders (like I said, I explored pretty much every option).

Class was short, as days without labs are, but we were all jumpy. I thought about my seating choice (front row, center) momentarily before sitting, but decided a change wouldn't really do any good in a class so tiny. I'm small enough that I could probably just slip under the table and be fine, though.

I spent my time on campus learning what life with paranoia would be like. It was surprisingly not that difficult. That may, however, say more about me than I care to admit, though. When I returned to work, a coworker said the entire ordeal had made the news (finally), but wanted more information - according to him, it was bare bones facts. I looked it up, relating the only information that I knew had been provided by UTA, and found this short piece from the Dallas Morning News (see below). It was comforting to see that a concerned friend made the call to 911 about the suicidal man. I won't go so far as to call that person a hero, but s/he did the right thing.

News Link:

http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2013/06/ut-arlington-closes-campus-after-dallas-police-say-gunman-may-be-headed-there.html/